The Relationship Between Anger and Fear

by Beth

Fire at Night by Francisco Goya

In my last post Understanding and Dealing with Anger I wrote about anger as one of our core human emotions and offered some yoga techniques for understanding and managing our anger states. In this post, I’d like to offer a few thoughts on the relationship of anger to another core human emotion: fear. Fear is an uncomfortable feeling that results from something we recognize or perceive as a danger or a threat. If, for example, the fear results from being mugged, physically assaulted, or getting lost in a storm on Mt. Everest, the danger and threat are recognized as very real. If the danger is not real, it’s perceived. Anodea Judith, in her book on the chakras Creating on Purpose describes perceived fear as a False Event Appearing Real. 

Anger and fear can exist in us at the same time as a result of the same experience. One way to get a sense of how this can work is to take a look at the flight-or-fight stress response. In Joseph and Lilian LePage’s yoga therapist training handout "Yoga and the Emotions" they break down the fight-or-flight response to show how anger can relate to “fight” and fear to “flight”:  

Fight/Anger                           Flight/Fear

Irritated/Annoyed                   Confused/Insecure
Frustrated                              Anxious
Angry                                     Frightened
Hateful                                   Panicky
Rageful                                  Petrified 

For example, in a short-term stress experience like having your car suddenly break down on the highway, the reaction, at least for me was clear and direct. First came frustration, irritation, and annoyance as in, “Oh, (fill in your favorite swear word). Why now! I don’t need this headache. This (fill in your next favorite one or two swear words) car!” Close on the heels of this reaction, came insecurity, anxiety, and fear as in, “No one will help me. I’m alone. How am I going to get out of this? It’s probably going to cost a lot of money (fill in your favorite string of swear words).” Of course, it all worked out. I walked off the next exit, found a gas station, had my car towed and a broken fan belt replaced. Once everything was taken care of, I quickly returned to a calm and balanced state. This was a stress “event” that got fixed. 

The reaction can be vastly different if the stress experience is a False Event Appearing Real, based on a long-term, deeper fear pattern that is compounded and masked by anger. For example, I’ve inherited a strong belief from the women in my family that independence and personal financial responsibility are important and if you are going to be in relationship with others, adhering to agreed upon commitments, especially around money, is non-negotiable. So, of course, I’ve been tested on that many times and in many ways. One of the most memorable was in my second marriage. We’d agreed on how our finances would be handled but my husband frequently and consistently broke the rules. This led to discussions, which led to arguments, which led to a final angry outburst, in which I suddenly connected my anger to a deep-seated fear of financial failure which would end with me being broke, helpless and dependent, a False Event that Appeared all too Real. Only after recognizing that my anger was masking that fear was I able to set financial boundaries for myself, which eased my anger and my fear of not being in control of my own well-being. This was one of those never-ending, stress-pattern stories that had repeated itself over and over until I finally faced it, traced it, and replaced it with self-awareness and a healthy behavioral response. 

Many who work in the mental health field recognize the concept of emotional masking in which one emotion can cover, or “mask” another. Dr. Deborah Khoshaba, who holds a PhD in Clinical Psychology with a specialization in the area of Health Psychology and is the author of the article “Masks of Anger: The Fears That Your Anger May Be Hiding,”writes: 

“The more comfortable you get with your fears, the less apt you will be to express them through anger. Many people respond to fear with anger, because human beings don’t like being exposed or open to being harmed and shamed.” 

It’s natural to want to stop stirring our stress/anger/fear stew when we feel it, but the feelings are, in reality, a natural emotional reaction to what the mind and imagination are doing. So instead of isolation, denial, or re-acting out, we can turn to our yoga practice for healthy ways to respond. For one way, see Baxter and Nina’s post Coming into Balance: How Stress and Relaxation Work Together). 

Another helpful technique is working the Witness (vijnanamayakosha), one of the five levels (or bodies) of being human (Working with the Witness 2/24/16). The importance of using yoga to balance and integrate the koshas is implicit in Iyengar’s words from Light on Life: 

“It is essential for the follower of the yoga journey to understand the need for integration and balance in the kosa. For example, the mental and intellectual bodies (manomaya and vijnanamaya kosa) must function effectively in order for us to observe, analyze and reflect what is happening in the physical and energetic bodies (anamaya and pranamaya kosa) and make adjustments.” 

This can be done in the middle of a stress event or a never-ending stress-pattern story. All it takes is awareness that the anger/fear stew is beginning to boil and that you have the ability to move the Witness through body, breath, and mind to lower the boil to a simmer. It can be easiest to start with the physical body but this exercise can be done in any order. For example: 

Physical Body: What is my body feeling? Are my muscles tight? Is my gut wrenched? Are my shoulders hunched? Are my fists clenched? Is my heart beating faster? 

Breath-Energy Body: How am I breathing? Fast? Slow? Is my breath stuck? Am I feeling heavy, leaden or suddenly drained and exhausted? 

Mental-Emotional Body: Am I angry? Fearful? A bit of each? What are the thoughts racing through my mind at this moment? Are they boiling or tumbling? Is this an event that can be fixed or a never-ending story based on a deeper mental-emotional issue? 

Maybe it’s age and maybe it’s my yoga practice but I know that a lot of my anger/fear-based reactions are slower to rise and easier to resolve. I’m much more able to recognize the anger/fear stew in its early stages. Using the Witness to turn anger/fear experiences into an opportunity for self-awareness is a strong yoga practice. Through it we can learn to tell the difference between an anger/fear stress event that can be fixed and forgotten and a never-ending stress pattern story that needs to be faced, traced, and replaced.

Subscribe to Yoga for Healthy Aging by Email ° Follow Yoga for Healthy Aging on Facebook ° Join this site with Google Friend Connect

What is Acrophobia Fear of Height

[Extracted from About.Com's website]

Acrophobia is defined as a fear of heights. It is different from aerophobia (fear of flying), as well as other similar specific phobias, because this fear is more generalized. Depending on the phobia's severity, an acrophobic person may equally fear being on a high floor of a building, climbing a ladder and any other activity that involves being at height.

Acrophobia and Vertigo

Acrophobia is sometimes confused with vertigo. Vertigo is a specific medical condition that causes a sensation of spinning and dizziness. The fear caused by acrophobia can sometimes cause a similar feeling, but the two conditions are not the same. If you experience a sensation of vertigo, it is important to see a doctor for tests. Medical tests may include bloodwork, CT scans and MRIs, which can rule out a variety of neurological conditions. Only a medical professional can determine the cause of vertigo.

Symptoms of Acrophobia

If you experience acrophobia, you may never experience vertigo symptoms. Instead, you may feel a sense of panic when at height. You may instinctively begin to search for something to cling to. You may find that you are unable to trust your own sense of balance. Common reactions include descending immediately, crawling on all fours and kneeling or otherwise lowering the body.

Emotionally and physically, the response to acrophobia is similar to the response to any other phobia. You may begin to shake, sweat, experience heart palpitations and even cry or yell out. You may feel terrified and paralyzed. It might become difficult to think.

If you have acrophobia, it is likely that you will begin to dread situations that may cause you to spend time at height. For example, you may worry that an upcoming vacation will put you into a hotel room on a high floor. You may put off home repairs for fear of using a ladder. You might avoid visiting friends’ homes if they have balconies or upstairs picture windows.

Danger of Acrophobia

The biggest danger that most phobias present is the risk of limiting one’s life and activities to avoid the feared situation. Acrophobia is unusual, however, in that having a panic attack while high in the air could actually lead to the imagined danger.

The situation may be safe as long as normal precautions are taken, but panicking could lead you to make unsafe moves. Therefore, it is extremely important that acrophobia be professionally treated as quickly as possible, particularly if heights are a regular part of your life.

Causes of Acrophobia

Research shows that a certain amount of reluctance around heights is normal, not only for humans but for all visual animals. In 1960, famed research psychologists Gibson and Walk did a “Visual Cliff” experiment which showed crawling infants, along with babies of numerous species, who refused to cross a thick glass panel that covered an apparently sharp drop-off. The presence of the infant’s mother, encouragingly calling him, did not convince the babies that it was safe.

Therefore, acrophobia seems to be at least partially ingrained, possibly as an evolutionary survival mechanism. Nonetheless, most children and adults use caution but are not inordinately afraid of heights. Acrophobia, like all phobias, appears to be a hyper-reaction of the normal fear response. Many experts believe that this may be a learned response to either a previous fall or a parent’s nervous reaction to heights.

Treating Acrophobia

Cognitive-behavioral therapy, or CBT, is a main treatment of choice for specific phobias. Behavioral techniques that expose the sufferer to the feared situation either gradually (systematic desensitization) or rapidly (flooding) are frequently used. In addition, the client is taught ways of stopping the panic reaction and regaining emotional control.

Traditionally, actual exposure to heights is the most common solution. However, several research studies performed since 2001 have shown that virtual reality may be just as effective. A major advantage of virtual reality treatment is the savings in both cost and time, as there is no need for “on-location” therapist accompaniment. More research will need to be conducted before this method becomes a readily available option, but if it is available it may be worth trying.

Acrophobia appears to be rooted in an evolutionary safety mechanism. Nonetheless, it represents an extreme variation on a normal caution, and can become quite life-limiting for sufferers. It can also be dangerous for those who experience a full panic reaction while at a significant height. Acrophobia can share certain symptoms with vertigo, a medical disorder with a variety of possible causes. For these reasons, if you experience the signs of acrophobia, it is extremely important to seek professional help as soon as possible.